Abby watched Ed as he finished the last bite of his sundae.
"It's been tough," Ed said softly, aware that she was studying him. Abby tilted her head and stayed silent, waiting to see if he would say more. It was something she had learned as a doctor, though, she hoped it was in a friend capacity at that moment.
Ed stayed silent so Abby said, "It will get better. It takes time."
"My antidepressant is finally kicking in," Ed said very softly, almost a whisper.
"They can definitely help," she added.
"Yeah," he said, but avoided eye contact with Abby.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of,"
"It's kind of scary," Ed admitted.
"How so?" she asked.
"To admit that I was that..." he began, "That depressed. Everyone assumes you can pull yourself out."
"Usually you need help," Abby said.
"Yeah, I guess when your girlfriend cheats on you, gives you the clap, and steals $5000 from you, it's okay to need antidepressants, right?"
Abby was startled by Ed's admission and nodded in response rather than stumble over somehting to say.
"Did I shock you?" he asked, rubbing his hands over his face.
"No," she lied.
"It should shock you," he said.
Abby couldn't tell if his expression was tinged with anger or confusion.
"It takes courage to say something so personal. I admire your courage," Abby told him.
"I'm an idiot," he sighed.
"No you are not. No judgments here,"
"Judgment. Hmm. You have to pick a side," Ed said with a glimpse of deviousness in his blue eyes.
"Well I would have to have all the facts in order to make an educated jugment and I don't think you are ready to give facts, are you?" Abby said as she felt tension develop in between her shoulder blades.
"It would shock you," he said.
"Is that what you want? To shock me?" she asked.
"It's okay. I'm sorry I pushed. Want to see more animals?" Abby offered.
"What if I want you on my side?" Ed asked, keeping his eyes on the dish that now only contained a pool of melted icecream.
"Have your friends helped you in the past few months?" she asked.
"Don't have that many," Ed said.
"I don't either, but I try to maintain the friendships I have," Abby replied.
"I'm glad you called back then," he said.
They wandered around the zoo for a couple hours, ducking into the shade whenever possible as the Colorado sunshine grew hot. Both of them seemed to relax. They leaned on the rail studying the tiger hidden in the shade of a tree.
"If you could be any animal, what kind of animal would you want to be?" Ed asked.
"Well...Tough decision," Abby began, "I've always been a fan of frogs and rabbits. Not sure which I would pick."
"Interesting," Ed said. It was obvious that he was deep in thought about the discussion but seemed more playful than earlier in the day.
"And you?" Abby asked.
He smiled at her but said nothing.
"What are you reading into this?" Abby asked.
"It does tell a lot about somebody's personality," he said.
"Well, sure," she said,"A tiger is more menacing."
"Yeah, but you already said rabbit," Ed said, chuckling.
"I'm not cute and cuddly," Abby said, straightening her posture and crossing her arms across her chest.
"You're not?" Ed replied, teasingly.
She stuck her tongue out at him. Ed chuckled again, a real smile on his face. It made Abby catch her breath.
"So what you're saying is that your rabbit is like the ones from Monty Python?" Ed asked her still grinning.
"Well, I am taking kickboxing," she announced.
"Impressive," Ed said.
"So what is your animal?" Abby asked him.
"Nah. You'll laugh at me," he said in reply and began moving toward the lion area.
"Oh, I see how it is," Abby said.
After a few minutes of Abby staring at him, Ed said, "All right. A monkey. There, I said it."
She smiled at him, her hair ruffled and just a smudge of white sunscreen on her cheek and shirt collar; it made Ed feel good being just around her.
"You could have lied and said a wolf or a lion," Abby said.
"Yeah," Ed began, "But it's hard to lie to you."
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