8. Invitation to Savannah

The next day, Abby and Ed went to a movie and then to the closest large bookstore to hang out.  Abby was a bit off her game that day after the strange nightmare the previous night.  She considered telling Ed about the dream, but in the end, decided against it.  Ed was in line to order for them and he was dressed in a black short sleeve button down shirt with jeans; Abby couldn't help but study him, especially the curve of his bottom in his jeans.  Ed turned back towards her, flashing her a grin.  She returned the smile which come out a bit devious since she couldn't stop herself from imagining putting her hands all over him.

Abby fought to wrap up her daydream as Ed approached carrying two iced chai lattes.  His hands looked strong and Abby felt a blush come to her cheeks.

"What's up?" he asked, setting down her drink.

"Huh?" she replied, lost in his gaze at that moment.

"You all right?" he asked after he sat down.

"Sure.  Didn't sleep well last night," Abby said quickly, almost so quickly that the words nearly jumbled together.

"How come you never talk about past boyfriends?" he asked, after crumpling up the paper wrapper for his straw.

Abby's mouth gaped a bit in surprise until she made herself close it.  The question seemed to come out of left field, but maybe Ed had an idea of what she was....no, that's just silly she told herself.

"Didn't end well, made myself too vulnerable, ancient history," she said without taking a breath in between.

Ed leaned back in his chair and chuckled because Abby really did seem a little weird that day.  He figured that now was his chance.  He'd been putting off asking her something for a few weeks and time was running out.

"I need to ask you a favor," he began, "I've been afraid to ask."

"Ask what?"

"I need you to go to my sister's wedding with me,"

"Her wedding?" Abby asked, who was kind of rerunning Ed's line "I need you" over and over in her head in those few seconds since it was nice to hear.  Pathetic Abby, Pathetic. her internal voice echoed.

"Bethany is getting married.  I know it is a huge favor to ask.  I don't want to go alone," Ed said.

"Did they expect you to come with Tricia?" Abby asked and felt awful when she saw the immediate mention of his ex-girlfriend's name caused him great pain.

"No.  I told Bethany about...her," he said, his voice now full of tension.

"When is it?" Abby asked.

"Six weeks away in Savannah,"

"Savannah?" Abby choked.

"Yeah.  Bethany is paying for the tickets.  She wants me there for a Tuesday to Sunday thing.  Could you get off work?"

Abby didn't know what to say so just watched him silently; overwhelmed with the information.  Ed was growing nervous and fidgeting in the wooden chair.

"I'd have to check on work.  But I might be able to do some on the road on computer," she said, thinking of how a couple years ago when she was seeing patients every day she had her work schedule arranged six to eight months in advance.  She could make it work now, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to go.

"Sure," Ed said.

"Maybe we should get separate rooms since we...aren't together," Abby announced with maybe a little nervous emphasis on the word together.

"We can do that," Ed said slowly.

"Do you go home much?" Abby asked him.

"Been six years I think,"

"Let me check on the dates," Abby said.

"Thanks for considering," Ed said, his palm sweaty, his stomach nervous.  He hadn't considered what he would do if Abby said no.  He felt like he was sinking; deep down he thought she would say yes.

"A wedding is a big deal for a couple to attend," Abby said.

"Yeah?  Why is that?" he asked with a confused expression.

"Well.  Stereotypical women assume if they are going with a date to a wedding that they have a chance of getting proposed to at some point.  And, guests at a wedding seem to ask, 'When are you getting married?'"

"Huh?"

"Stupid, isn't it," Abby opined.

"So they won't believe that we are just friends?"

"It is a possibility,"

"Is that a bad thing?" Ed asked her, his palms extremely sweaty.

"What?  No,"  Abby responded, blushing then added, "As long as you don't mind the implication."

Ed scooted his chair closer to the table and whispered, "No, I don't mind."  He continued, "Bethany asked me to be a groomsman.  I have to go.  I promised.  I just don't want to go.  Especially alone." 

His eyes were pleading with her and he was a bit shocked at how vulnerable he had made himself. 

"Okay, I'll go with you.  I know it's not going to be easy," Abby announced, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Easy to pretend you like me?" he asked, a crooked smile arising on his face.

"You owe me," she said, refusing to answer his last question.

7. Finally had a dream about Ed

Abby and Ed began hanging out all the time, seeing movies, hanging out at bookstores, talking on the phone. More and more, Ed looked healthier and happier. Abby realized that she had a significant crush on Ed, but he didn’t seem to be interested in her more than a friend. She figured that was okay since they both didn’t have a great track record with relationships. Then one night she had the strangest nightmare and Ed was in it.


Abby had her back against a large tree, the air thick with moisture and humidity unlike anything she experienced living in Colorado. She was dressed in a white t-shirt and cotton pajama bottoms and sneakers. It was dimly lit but she could see the moss and lushness of all the plants around her. She shifted her footing and was aware of the mud beneath her. She looked up searching for stars or the moon, but the forest was too dense. Then she saw Ed walk towards her. His hair was mussed, his face pale, his blue eyes almost glowing. She called to him.


“I told you to run,” he said, his voice low and raspy.


“What is going on?” she asked him.


“It’s not safe,” Ed said as he came up close to her. He swept hair from out of her eyes and then ran a finger under her chin, sending an ache of longing through her body. Ed pressed up against her, pushing her against the damp tree trunk. She could feel his chest, his hips pressing against her, which was unexpected, but exciting. Ed seemed to be enjoying the closeness since Abby could feel all of his length against her, too. “I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you,” he said, “Now Run!”


They both turned as they heard a terrible howl of a beast in the distance. “RUN!” Ed yelled and then vanished. Abby heard the howl again and it was much closer. She began to run, not very successfully as she slipped on the wet ground and avoided fallen branches. The next sound was like a scream, but it was a shrill hungry scream that did not sound human. She turned back quickly and saw piercing red eyes in the distance and fought to muffle her own scream. She kept running and tripped over a large downed log and….



Abby woke up soaked in sweat in her bed at home. She blinked and looked around, terrified of what she might find. But there was no mud, no moss, no red-eyed monster, no Ed. The bedside clock read 4:12 am. She got up, trembling and telling herself over and over that it wasn’t real and it was just a dream. She put on a fleece jacket and decided to do some work on her computer. There was no way she was going to back to sleep now.

6. Getting the painful stuff out there OR A rabbits and a monkey go to the zoo

Abby watched Ed as he finished the last bite of his sundae.
"It's been tough," Ed said softly, aware that she was studying him. Abby tilted her head and stayed silent, waiting to see if he would say more. It was something she had learned as a doctor, though, she hoped it was in a friend capacity at that moment.

Ed stayed silent so Abby said, "It will get better. It takes time."

"My antidepressant is finally kicking in," Ed said very softly, almost a whisper.

"They can definitely help," she added.

"Yeah," he said, but avoided eye contact with Abby.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of,"

"It's kind of scary," Ed admitted.

"How so?" she asked.

"To admit that I was that..." he began, "That depressed. Everyone assumes you can pull yourself out."

"Usually you need help," Abby said.

"Yeah, I guess when your girlfriend cheats on you, gives you the clap, and steals $5000 from you, it's okay to need antidepressants, right?"

Abby was startled by Ed's admission and nodded in response rather than stumble over somehting to say.

"Did I shock you?" he asked, rubbing his hands over his face.

"No," she lied.

"It should shock you," he said.

Abby couldn't tell if his expression was tinged with anger or confusion.

"It takes courage to say something so personal. I admire your courage," Abby told him.

"I'm an idiot," he sighed.

"No you are not. No judgments here,"

"Judgment. Hmm. You have to pick a side," Ed said with a glimpse of deviousness in his blue eyes.

"Well I would have to have all the facts in order to make an educated jugment and I don't think you are ready to give facts, are you?" Abby said as she felt tension develop in between her shoulder blades.

"It would shock you," he said.

"Is that what you want? To shock me?" she asked.

"It's okay. I'm sorry I pushed. Want to see more animals?" Abby offered.

"What if I want you on my side?" Ed asked, keeping his eyes on the dish that now only contained a pool of melted icecream.

"Have your friends helped you in the past few months?" she asked.

"Don't have that many," Ed said.

"I don't either, but I try to maintain the friendships I have," Abby replied.

"I'm glad you called back then," he said.

They wandered around the zoo for a couple hours, ducking into the shade whenever possible as the Colorado sunshine grew hot. Both of them seemed to relax. They leaned on the rail studying the tiger hidden in the shade of a tree.

"If you could be any animal, what kind of animal would you want to be?" Ed asked.

"Well...Tough decision," Abby began, "I've always been a fan of frogs and rabbits. Not sure which I would pick."

"Interesting," Ed said. It was obvious that he was deep in thought about the discussion but seemed more playful than earlier in the day.

"And you?" Abby asked.

He smiled at her but said nothing.

"What are you reading into this?" Abby asked.

"It does tell a lot about somebody's personality," he said.

"Well, sure," she said,"A tiger is more menacing."

"Yeah, but you already said rabbit," Ed said, chuckling.

"I'm not cute and cuddly," Abby said, straightening her posture and crossing her arms across her chest.

"You're not?" Ed replied, teasingly.

She stuck her tongue out at him. Ed chuckled again, a real smile on his face. It made Abby catch her breath.

"So what you're saying is that your rabbit is like the ones from Monty Python?" Ed asked her still grinning.

"Well, I am taking kickboxing," she announced.

"Impressive," Ed said.

"So what is your animal?" Abby asked him.

"Nah. You'll laugh at me," he said in reply and began moving toward the lion area.

"Oh, I see how it is," Abby said.

After a few minutes of Abby staring at him, Ed said, "All right. A monkey. There, I said it."

She smiled at him, her hair ruffled and just a smudge of white sunscreen on her cheek and shirt collar; it made Ed feel good being just around her.

"You could have lied and said a wolf or a lion," Abby said.

"Yeah," Ed began, "But it's hard to lie to you."

5. Monkeys and icecream

Once they made it through the entrance of the zoo, Abby asked Ed, “So lions, tigers, bears, or elephants first?”
“Hmm. How about monkeys?” Ed asked.
“Monkeys it is,” Abby said, putting on her sunglasses.
Colorado definitely did have 300 days of sunshine a year. It had been a milder summer than usual and Abby was grateful it was wasn’t yet in the 90’s. She pulled out sunscreen from her backpack and began to smear it on her arms and neck.
Ed watched her apply the thick white lotion and chuckled. “You are prepared,” he said, reminding himself that getting out of bed each morning was all he could manage lately. He had been battling a deep depression after the mess with his ex and he wished that there was a lotion to protect from depression. He was still afraid of the depression overtaking him, but the fear seemed a little less being with Abby that day.
“Fair skinned,” Abby replied matter of factly and finished her sunscreen application.
They walked to the outdoor monkey enclosure and watched intently some of the monkeys who were enjoying themselves.
“Pretty silly, huh?” asked Abby.
“That one looks pretty pathetic,” Ed said, pointing.
“Nah, he’s just got a grooming problem,” she laughed.
“Kind of looks like me,” Ed said.
“I don’t think so,” Abby responded, stifling a giggle.
Ed sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn’t even remember getting dressed that morning. He looked down at himself. At least, he had managed to find a t-shirt and shorts that were clean.
Abby saw Ed looking at himself and shaking his head. She grabbed him by the arm and looped her arm in his. “Let’s go get some junk food,” she said.
Ed stared at her with a confused look on his face.
“You know. Junk food. Cotton candy, ice cream, candy bar?” she said, pulling Ed along the path with her.
“I don’t know,” he grumbled.
“I’m not a fan, but maybe some chili cheese fries?” she offered.
“I don’t have much of an appetite these days,” Ed said.
“Are you watching your figure?” she asked, giggling.
“No,” he said with a little chuckle.

They sat at a small table under umbrellas. Abby had an ice cream cone and Ed decided on a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and all. Since Abby had less to eat, she finished first and watched Ed. Maybe it was her imagination, but he looked somewhat less sad.

4. A little bit of sunshine

“How are you?” he asked, adding non-dairy creamer to his tea.

“Fine. Fine. How are you? You look kind of pale, Ed. Are you okay?” she asked.

He just watched her silently for awhile. Abby got flustered. Maybe she had been too personal.
He shifted in the chair and softly said, “Not really,” in response.

Abby took a sip of her tea and tried not to stare at him but she did let her gaze stop on his hands that seemed strong, a little chapped, with a standard Band-Aid on the pointer finger.

“I’m glad you called,” she said finally.

He tried to force a little smile for her.

“So how did you get my number?” she began, “I didn’t give it to you at the furniture store.”

“Didn’t you?” he asked, slyly raising his eyebrows at her.

“No,” she said, “I have a very good memory.”

“I’m sure you do,” he said.

She took a drink of her tea. “Well, Ed. What do you want to talk about?”

“I called Peter. He gave me Cheryl’s number. Cheryl gave me yours,” he said.

“Oh,” she said, realizing that it sounded like he went out of his way to get her number which made her grow nervous.

After a couple minutes of silence that had made Abby’s heart pound, she finally said, “I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay. This is the first time I’ve done anything social in …in a long time,”

“So….your relationship?”

“Over,”

“I’m sorry,”

“I confronted her the day I saw you,” he said bluntly.

“Oh. Good for you. You deserve better,”

“You don’t know me,”

“No, I don’t. But everyone deserves loyalty,” she said.

He watched her, his blue eyes moist with emotion and said, “Too bad it’s so hard to find.”

Abby smiled at him.
“I’m kind of messed up,” he said.

“Isn’t everybody?” Abby asked.
He shrugged his shoulders.

“You look like you could use some sunshine,” Abby announced.

“Is that a song?” Ed asked.

“No, it’s two for one at the zoo today. Let’s go,” Abby said, grabbing their empty ceramic cups and setting them near the trash bin.

Ed had a strange expression on his face and Abby couldn’t tell what it meant.

“Unless you have other plans?” she added.

“No. No plans,” he said.

3. Two tea drinkers in the coffee store

Abby watched Ed leave the furniture store and headed to the restroom. She fluffed up her brown hair, which in the dry climate of Colorado tended to do whatever it wanted. Under the fluorescent light, the red tones she painstakingly added herself every month didn't even show up. She squinted at herself and rubbed her button nose. Her eyes were hazel and lately always seemed to look tired. She didn't mind the smattering of freckles across her cheeks; she never could get out of bed early enough in the morning to wear much makeup. But, she sighed out loud to herself about the recent encounter. She thought of how handsome Ed had looked, even with the phone call. He was out of her league anyway she told herself as she left the restroom. Cheryl was waiting for her, asking her to plan to help assist putting the bed together that evening.

"No, I can't, Cheryl. Really. I've promised myself I would make it to my kickboxing class," Abby announced, straightening up her posture a bit.

"I thought you said they laughed at you," Cheryl said.

"Well, they do sometimes. I'm not terribly coordinated, but I am getting better,"

"Okay then. Don't break anything," Cheryl said.

"Ha. Ha," Abby grunted.

Four months later Abby received an unexpected voicemail message, "Hey Abby. Was wondering if you might want to have coffee or something. It's Ed Spenser. Give me a call."

Abby's heart skipped a beat when she listened to it again to write down his phone number.

They met at Starbucks at 11 am on a Sunday. Abby hardly recognized Ed. He was pale with dark circles under his eyes. His hair was a bit longer and flat, without his characteristic spikes that she recalled he always wore in college and had at the furniture store four months ago. Abby waved him over to her table. He took a seat and Abby could tell he appeared to be trying too hard to not slump in the seat. The expression on his face was sad. Broken.

Abby asked him what he wanted to drink and jumped up to get in line at the counter and order for them both. They both decided on hot tea and upon ordering the girl working the counter rolled her eyes at Abby. Abby caught herself wishing she could make a pithy comeback about the girl's lip piercing or the hygiene of her nose piercing, but decided against it.

2. Purple couch and the hard truth

Cheryl, Abby, and Ed small talked for a few minutes. Cheryl went to locate a salesman and purchase the bed set she had picked out for her son. Ed and Abby wandered around the sofa section of the furniture store and shared a bit about their lives since college. Abby noted that Ed didn't give many details about what he did for a living.

Mid-conversation, Ed's cell phone began to ring and he answered the call and moved 15 feet away from Abby to continue the call. His face grew pained and he started pacing as the call continued. Abby sat down on a purple love seat; she could not hear what Ed was talking about but she could tell that he was being reprimanded by someone who wouldn't give him a chance to explain. Ed finished the phone call and came back to sit on the purple faux suede sofa and slumped forward.

"You okay?" Abby asked him, not sure whether she should ask or not.
"No," he said softly, running his hands through his hair. "She keeps doing this to me...making me feel guilty. I mean I should be mad at her, not the other way around. We were supposed to look at furniture for us to move in together and she stood me up and then accuses me of cheating," he said in exasperation.

Abby watched him across the fake living room; the garish purple of the furnishings seemed too upbeat for the conversation. Abby made herself stay silent as she studied the look of anguish on Ed's face, a look that told her that Ed was in love with this woman and was unlikely to have cheated on her.

"I'm sorry, Ed," she finally said.
"Maybe I am a cheater and a horrible boyfriend," he grunted.
"I hardly know you, Ed, but something makes me think that's unlikely," Abby said to him quite sincerely.

He straightened and looked at Abby with surprise and then after a few seconds asked Abby, "Are you married like Cheryl?"
"Nope," she said, "I'm kind of a bum magnet."
"What's a bum magnet?" he asked with just a hint of a chuckle.
"Well...a friend of mine called me that because I seem to attract the wrong guys, freeloaders and the like."

Cheryl strode up to their fake living room and interrupted the conversation with, "It's because you are too nice."
"I can be mean," Abby said pouting a bit because she hated being told she was too nice.
"Ha ha," Cheryl said in reply, rummaging through her purse.

Abby shook her head in embarrassment.
"Have you ever been unfaithful?" Ed asked Abby in a soft voice.
"No," she answered quickly.
"Then you are not mean," he said.
Abby smiled softly at him in attempt to convey understanding.

"Wait, who's cheating on who?" Cheryl asked suddenly done with her purse and reconnecting with their conversation.
Ed shot Abby a scared look so Abby announced, "I cheat on my income taxes."

"You do not," Cheryl snapped, "You had a crying episode when you accidentally submitted it one year with a mistake."
"Lots of people cry over income taxes," Abby responded, try to make herself look tougher.

It was hard since Cheryl was her only friend who knew her before and after her self-assertiveness training and sometimes Cheryl forgot how hard Abby had worked. Ed smiled at Abby and whether it was the wonderful smile with a little dimple on the left or the fact that he seemed genuinely interested in talking to her, Abby began to blush at that moment.

"How long has it been since you worked with Peter? So where do you work now?" Cheryl asked Ed.
"Um, let me see," he began.
"Eddie and Peter went to law school together," Cheryl interrupted.
"Oh. Wow," Abby said, trying not to sound too surprised; as a doctor she wasn't too fond of lawyers.
"Abby's a doctor you know. You two professionals should go out," Cheryl said.
"Cheryl, Ed has a girlfriend. Show some respect," Abby said, "Besides doctors and lawyers don't really get along."

"I'm not a lawyer anymore," Ed said with a shaky voice.
"What? Why not?" cried Cheryl.
"I have my own business. I make my own hours and help people," he said, "I'm an electrician."
Cheryl was stunned silent which for her was saying a lot.
"Good for you. Sounds like you enjoy it," Abby said.
Ed was very taken with her nonjudgmental reaction and with the sincere look on her face. He found her more and more interesting.

The salesman returned to talk to Cheryl so Ed was saved from more awkward talk.
"Listen, I gotta go. It was nice to see you Abby. It made my day," Ed told her when he and Abby were both standing.
"Goodbye, Ed," she said, "Good luck."